Saturday, 10 November 2007

Lao3 Ba4 De4 Gan3 Chu4 - Part 1

My wife has been pestering me to write something on the blog.. " when are you writing?", "how come you are still not writing yet???" err.. is not that I dun want to write but it will take days before I draft one out... you know lah.. England cant make it.. ;)

Now suddently got a bit of inspiration, so decide to make my "virgin" post ;)

Having a son now makes me realised how important the role of being a father and husband can be.. let me share some thoughts with those new fathers...

Firstly, you need to be a very supportive and loving husband to your wife during pregnancy and after that... all the more for the latter.. during pregnacy.. this one everyone knows what to do so I shall not elaborate on it..

Of course, during delivery father will really need to be the cheerleader (telling wife on my count: "breath in deep.... ok! push now... hold your breath! hold your breath! 10 more seconds! 5 more! well done! relax..." and the cycle goes on till the little one is out! I even need to provide the counter force on Pam's right leg so that she can exert more strength to push. So fathers to be, head for the gym to work out your arms.. they do come in handy when the crunch time comes.

Next being the photographer. You need to prep yourself what to do the moment when the baby comes so that you wun kabra.. I have walked that scenerio thru my mind a couple of times but still miss out some moments.. will be even better prepared the next time ;) A crazy thought just came to my mind as I am typing this..maybe I will do a banner and hang opposite the wall in the delivery suite "Have an eventful journey baby?" or "Welcome to Motherearth, baby!" Any other suggestions are welcome ;)

The challenging part is the post prenancy when we go back home when Pam's milk is not in yet and the baby keeps on crying for milk. Its a stressful situation when you have absolutely no idea what is happening when you need to console your wife who is depressed by the cries of the baby and the pain of sore nipples from the umpteen feeding as well as to help taking care of the crying baby who perpetually cries every 30 min (which can be really depressing even for the father). The Father and Husband need to stay cool and calm and be absolute empathatic towards his wife's and baby's feelings and emotions. Finally to cut thing short.. its till midnight (after 8 hours of confusion) that we decided I would have to get the formula milk to satisfy his hunger.. (its till later then we know that you can actually take from the hospital some milk powder to tie over for the period before the mother's milk come). Thank God that there is a 24 hour Cold Storage in Holland Village that I manage to buy the milk powder (new father take note: 7-11 dun sell new born baby milk powder). Ironically, when CS opened its 24 outlet in Holland V, I was telling pam: "who will come over in the night? wastage of power!" Haiz... Isaac made his father ate his words... knn... and at the same time was laughing at myself when queueing to pay. I hv fulfilled the old saying of "chou4 xiao3 zi4! rang4 lao3 ba4 ban4 ye4 cu1 lai2 mai3 nai3 fen3" haha.... luckliy he is borned at this era.. otherwise his father need to go and knock at the door of those provision shops....

As I thought finally everything is settled now... then comes your wife engorgement!! As a husband, I feel totally helpless as there is nothing I can do and have no idea how pain it is for pam. Luckily have the confinement lady who knows what to do so I can only be her helper to pour hot water, squeeze the towels etc and of course again be the emotional pillar for pam.. guess that is the most important part.

On reflecting back, I guess actually the fathers will also feel vunerable and loss. Yet at the same time they need to support their wife and child emotionally and physically, parking their own feelings at one corner first. Of course, as compared to our wifes' suffering, ours are nothing big deal but I just cant helped but realised that fathers' feeling is also as powerful as the mothers ;) but of course, "Mu3 Ai4 shi4 zui4 wei3 da4 de4!" kukos to all Mothers! I guess every new parents must go thru this baptism of fire to become even wonderful parents and staring down at your child, you will know everything is worth it ;)

Also I must also thank my wonderful mother-in-law who has sacrificed her sleep, time and supporting us in every way to help us out through out the confinement period. Thank you mum! We love you ;)

And of course my confinement lady who has taken good care of the baby and us as well ;) Thank you auntie!

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